


Scarred by Many Past Frustrations

by CaptainMarvel42



Series: History Yet to Be Written [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Political Animals
Genre: Gen, M/M, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 02:42:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4504590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainMarvel42/pseuds/CaptainMarvel42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>If Steve knew SHIELD would have him work security for the occasional party with politicians, he would have taken up Stark on his offer to move into the tower instead of staying in DC. This party, which is supposed to be about raising money for charity, seems more like an excuse for people to gawk at him. Before New York, he could walk around without being recognized. Who would have expected a long dead relic from World War Two? Since New York, everyone wants a piece of him: SHIELD, the media, and tonight--his personal favourite--politicians.</i> </p><p>Steve meets TJ Hammond. Takes place before CA:TWS.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scarred by Many Past Frustrations

**Author's Note:**

> Part of my series _History Yet to Be Written_ , but takes place before [Survival of the Fittest](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4502352/chapters/10237638). Can be read as a stand-alone.

If Steve knew SHIELD would have him work security for the occasional party with politicians, he would have taken up Stark on his offer to move into the tower instead of staying in DC. This party, which is supposed to be about raising money for charity, seems more like an excuse for people to gawk at him. Before New York, he could walk around without being recognized. Who would have expected a long dead relic from World War Two? Since New York, everyone wants a piece of him: SHIELD, the media, and tonight--his personal favourite--politicians.

At least tonight is a smaller party. Vice President Elaine Barrish isn’t too bad. He likes her more than some other politicians he’s met. She didn’t gawk at him or try to get his support for any legislation. It was a nice change of pace from the rest of the party.

“Everything here is clear,” Steve says into his comm. He walks over to the crowd by the piano. There’s something soothing and sad about the song being played. The pianist has dark hair, and the lines of his shoulders look familiar somehow. It’s ridiculous to stare, but there is something about the man that draws him in.

After the final note of the song, Steve claps with everyone else.

The man stands up and bows saying, “Thank you. Thanks everyone.” He looks at Steve, and Steve’s breath catches in his throat.

“Bucky?” The name escapes Steve’s lips before he can think better of it.

The man is now staring at Steve, “Any requests?” The man--not Bucky--winks at Steve.

“Who are you?”

“That’s a new one.” The man extends his right hand and Steve takes it. The man’s hand feels warm against Steve’s. “TJ Hammond. You were talking to my mom a few minutes ago.”

“Your mother is Vice President Elaine Barrish?” All Steve knows about the Vice President’s family is that her ex-husband was the President back in the 90s. He doesn’t know anything about her son. He definitely would have remembered hearing that her son looks exactly like Bucky. Could they be related to the Barnes family--maybe one of Bucky’s sisters?

“Yeah. Let’s get a drink,” TJ says.  

Steve notices that they are attracting the attention of the crowd, so he agrees and follows TJ to the bar. It’s not like alcohol affects him anyway.  

TJ signals the bartender and orders, “A San Pellegrino for me. And what would you like?”

“The same is fine,” Steve says to the bartender. He looks at TJ and asks, “Not drinking?”

“It’s not a good look for a recovering addict to be seen drinking--even if alcohol never was my problem.” TJ smiles, and Steve’s heart aches at that smile. It is so similar to Bucky’s, but the smile doesn't reach TJ’s eyes the way Bucky’s smile always did before the war. Maybe it’s closer to the smile Bucky had after Steve rescued him. “You looked pretty shaken-up, so I figured a drink was as good of an excuse as any to get away from the spectators.”

“Thanks for that,” Steve says, while grabbing the drink the bartender passes over. Steve takes a sip and tries not to make a face.

“Not a fan?”

“Not used to sparkling water. I’m not sure I get the appeal.”

Changing the subject, TJ says, "So, you called me Bucky. Guess I really do look like him?”

Steve isn’t sure what to say, so he looks TJ over again. He lets his eyes linger. TJ looks identical to Bucky. Trying to keep the conversation lighthearted, Steve says, “Other than your hair, you look exactly like him. Are you related?"

“Not that I know of."

“Have you been compared to him often?”

“A bit. The comparisons didn’t start until I was nineteen or twenty." TJ gives Steve a half-smile. "It was never that big of a topic--the press had other stories to print about me.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” and he is. Steve has seen the bad side of the press, and doesn’t wish it on anyone. Steve stares at his drink. He can’t bring himself to look at TJ for long--it’s too much. He’s everything Steve wants to see, but at the same time he’s not. He’s a stranger with Bucky’s eyes. He’s not the boy who helped Steve fight off bullies, and who was the only family Steve had left after his mom died. He’s not the man who kept Steve warm in winter, who looked at Steve like he was worth something, who touched him like he was desperate to--"

“Are you OK?” TJ’s question interrupts Steve’s thoughts. “My plans for the evening involved playing the piano and talking to as few people as possible. They didn’t include depressing Captain America.” His voice is quiet and kind, which softens his words. 

“It’s Steve.”

TJ squeezes Steve's shoulder once in a move that is probably meant to comfort, but it's so reminiscent of Bucky that it makes Steve's heart ache. “Well, they didn’t include depressing him either.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s just--it’s hard to look at you.”

“Ouch.”

“I don’t mean it like that. It’s just… you look exactly like him.”

“I get it. It hasn't been long for you, has it?" TJ looks considering for a moment and says, "Give me your phone, and I’ll give you my number. If you need anyone to show you around DC, give me a call. I grew up here, so I know the city.” Steve hands over his phone and watches TJ add his number. When he gives Steve back his phone, TJ says, "I know this is weird, but give me call if you need to talk. I could use another friend.”

“I will,” but even as Steve’s saying it, he doesn’t think it’s true.

TJ nods goodbye and walks back to the piano.

The rest of the night blurs together for Steve. He hears TJ playing the piano again, but he keeps his distance. Steve thinks he could like TJ in another world-- maybe a world where TJ doesn’t look so much like Bucky or a world where Bucky is still alive. He meets another member of the Hammond family, Douglas Hammond, who doesn’t look much like Bucky at all, despite being TJ’s twin. Just as Steve is about to leave, there's a security breach, but thankfully, Rumlow confirms it's a false alarm. 

When Steve get back to his apartment, he takes out his phone and looks at the number TJ gave him. He considers calling, but quickly changes his mind. That would be a bad idea. It’s not every night anymore, but Steve still wakes to the sight of Bucky falling. Sometimes Loki or the Chitauri are there, but it always ends the same way--Bucky falling off that train, and Steve failing to save him. His finger hovers over call, but he can’t do it. Steve deletes TJ’s number instead. It’s a decision he hopes he won’t regret. Looking at TJ is too much like looking at a ghost. If he does, he’ll never look away.


End file.
